and get asmuch sleep and rest as possible.
Certainly in the early days, you really need to
let your body rest and refresh, especially as a
rugby player your energy is essential.
Julian:
You just need to enjoy themoment
and cherishwatching them start to grow
up, because it will go so fast and before you
know it theywill be chomping at the bit to
leave home.
Fast-forward 15 years down the track,
what sort of daddo youhope tobe?
Mat:
I really hope I’m a fairly relaxed dad, like
my own father was tome and try to be very
supportive and understanding and not too
pushy. Hopefully someone thatmy kidswill
talk to and expresswhatever problems they
might have or any situations theymay face.
J
ulian:
Definitely a dad that she can speak
to about whatever is on hermind. Not to
mention a dad that will make sure she stays
well clear of rugby players (laughs)!
Julian you’re anAussiebut your young
girlwas born in England,will shehave
a choiceonwho she supports in sport?
Julian:
Very good question! I think I will let
hermake up her ownmind. She’s obviously
Australian by descent and English by birth,
so either or, I won’t hold her to it.
Mat you recently announced that you’re
leaving the Leicester Tigers at the endof
the season andmovingover to France
toplay for Bayonne. Are you looking
forward to relocating your family?
Mat:
I’m really looking forward to it. I have
been at Leicester since 2011 and enjoyed
everymoment but looking back now it
was far too good of an opportunity for
mywife and I to turn down.Moving to
Francewill provide a fantastic newway
of life, experiencing a different culture and
a different language. Not tomention
raisingmy two kids in a beautiful country
such as France, will not only provide a
different education and opportunity for
them to learn two different languages,
but also allow them to experience a
brilliant lifestyle.
During the earlydays of thebirthdid you
receive support from family and friends?
Mat:
Well my parents andmyMother-In-Law
are about three and a half hours away, but that
didn’t stop them from being really supportive
during and after the birth of our boy. There
was one periodwheremywifewas battling a
virus andhermum actuallymade the effort to
come down and stay for theweek, to help out
andgivemywife somemuch needed rest. Their
experience and knowledge are invaluable and
we’re so lucky to have peoplewho are there to
provide support and guidance.
Julian:
Being fromAustralia and being so far
away from all your close family and friends has
made it quite difficult at times. However in
saying that we have a really tight-knit group
here at Leicester, such as the Parling’s and the
Tait’s, whoweremassive in helping us out
with anythingwe needed during the early
stages and continue to be incredibly supportive.
Howdo you juggle your professional rugby
careerwithbeing adad?
Mat:
Well when hewas younger you’d often
findme sleeping in the spare room just so
I could catch some rest and not turn up to
training or a game completely knackered.
Thankfully now that he’s older we’ve been
sleepingbetter and finding lifemuch easier.
Julian:
I wouldn’t say it’s too different from
before, but likeMat, I tend togo and sleep in
the spare room before a game. It can be hard at
times but I think you just need to do your best
andmanage as best you can.
Can yougiveus an ideaof any techniques
youuse toovercome the tiredness?
Mat:
I just try and crack onwith it and not let it
dictatemy life and rugby career too heavily. It’s
the same for any parentswith young children,
therewill be dayswhen you’ve been up all night
with your child feeding them or helping them
get back to sleep and I think you just need to
get your head down and get onwith it.We’re
expecting our second child this April which
will obviously test us again, but I’mmore than
confident having the experience under our belt
we can handle it.
Julian:
Well apart from sleeping in the spare
room, coffee and Red Bull definitely become
useful tools to helpme kick-on. Other than that,
I usually try and grab a short kipwhenever I can.
With an increasingnumber of youngdads
in theAviva Premiership,what’s your
number onepieceof advice to them?
Mat:
I think you just need to share theworkload
with your other half asmuch as you can and try
intolerance to the formula and needed to be on
soya basedmilk. It was a very tiring and stressful
time but thankfully now that he’s on the soya
milk he’s a completely different boy andwe’re
starting to get a good night’s rest.
Julian:
Changing a nappy has definitely beenmy
hardest challenge so far (laughs). Trying to cope
with the smell, colour and runniness is something
that I never look forward to and always try to
offload asmuch as possible. Forme though
the biggest challenge is the lack of sleep and
trying to then transform that into energy and
determination to take out onto the rugby pitch.
What’s been thebest thing so far about
being adad?
Mat:
I think just being able to hold in your hands
this incredibly special and cute child that you’ve
createdwith the person you love.Watching
him develop and grow is somethingwe both
definitely cherish and particularly now after
18monthswe can sit down andwatch him
smile and interact with you. Especially after
you’ve had a bad day, there’s no better feeling
knowing he’ll be therewaiting for a cuddle.
Julian:
I think now that she’s starting to smile
and recognise faces reallymakes coming home
after a hard day at workworthwhile. She’s
growing up so fast andwe’re constantly amazed
at howquickly she continues to progress.
With thedemands of professional
rugby at an all-timehigh, the
thought of jugglingone’s career
with raisinga young child is not
for the faint hearted. However
with an increasingnumber of
players in English rugbyexpecting
their first born,we recently caught
upwith twoof Leicester’s finest
youngdads tohear their stories
and advice for other players about
toenter the realms of fatherhood.
Daddy
Day
C re
Mat Tait and Julian Salvimayhaveover
230AvivaPremiershipappearances between
thembutwhen it comes to raising their
first child, both freely admit it hasn’t been
awalk in thepark.
Firstly youboth recentlybecame adad, can
you explainhow it’s been so far?
Mat:
It’s beenhardwork to be honest!Mywife
and I knew it was going to be difficult but we
never expected to face some of the challenges
we have.
Julian:
Obviouslywelcoming a new bub to the
family is a fantastic feeling andwe’ve loved every
moment that we have spent with our little girl.
I’m the first to admit though that it has been
challenging at times, trying to catch upon
sleep is always a hard task.
Can yougiveus an ideaof someof the
challenges youhave faced?
Mat:
We’ve been slightly unluckywith our little
boy due to a few issues that have been quite
stressful and hardwork. Firstlywe didn’t realise
whenwe left the hospital that he had a Tongue-
tie, whichmeantmywifewas up every hour
feedinghim but he still couldn’t get enough
food so he kept waking up. Thenwe introduced
a babymilk formulawhich seemed alright at first
but we soondiscovered that he actually had an
BECOMING A FATHER
Becominga father for thefirst time isquite
anexperience. Even theRPA’s independent
medical advisor,Dr TimAnstiss, found it tough.
Here‘sDr Tim’s tipsandadvice.
BE PRESENT
Be fullywith people, and in themoment.
Cherish thesemoments. Time passes quickly.
BE SUPPORTIVE
Your partner is going through a huge amount of
change – physical, physiological, emotional and
social. Uncertainty, anxiety, lack of confidence
and self-doubt can emerge, pain and sleep
disturbancemake thingsworse, and exhaustion
and depression can develop. Be there, be kind
and be patient.Make things as easy as possible,
become a better listener. Arrange breaks, treats,
be romantic, share chores and responsibilities.
BEAROLEMODEL
Kids pay attention towhat youdo, not just what
you say. Theywill see if you are kind, tolerant,
playful, able to laugh at yourself, respectful, brave
and eat healthily. Let them help you become and
be your best possible self.
LOOKAFTERYOURSELF
Get enough sleep. Eat well. Relax. Be kind to
yourself. Know it gets easier.
LIMIT TV TIME
Try and keepmedia time to an hour a day for as
long as possible. Try not to allow a TV into their
bedroom room until way into their teenage years.
Ensure toys are around and on the floor for active
and creative play.
READ TO THEM
Make it fun. Get into the habit. Develop your
storytelling skills.
Winnie the Pooh
and
Dr Seuss
will get things started nicely.
BEKINDAND PATIENT
Kidswill press your buttons. Practice
forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, kindness
and understanding. Youwere a kid once.
MAKE THEBIGMOMENTS
School plays. Sports Days.
TEACH THEMGOODHABITS
Have them help out, tidy their rooms, do
homework, write ‘thank you’ letters, be kind to
animals.
LOVE THEM
Tell them that you love them.More importantly,
show them that you love them.
Becoming aparent is fantastic, however it
can sometimes be very stressful so if you
ever need support, you can access the
RPA’s confidential counselling service, LPP
on 01373 858 080
If you’rewould like anymore information or
advice please visit thesewebsites:
Quick Tips for NewDads:
Start 4 Life:
Netmums.com:
/
parenting-support/parenting-advice/dads
Dads Special
Dr TimAnstiss
28
29
RPA
.co.uk
RPA
.co.uk
